Expanding the Hobby - Teaching Games to Others

 Teaching Games to Others

I do enjoy playing some games solo, but obviously, I'd (mostly) rather be playing with other people at the table. And most games require other players! But it can sometimes be difficult garnering the interest of other people if you don't already have a group of dedicated and interested gamers. Why's that? Well, there can be a couple of reasons.

1. Fundamental Misunderstanding of Board Games These are the folks whose knowledge of board games does not extend past Monopoly or Risk, and they often lump Dungeons and Dragons into that. It's not their fault they don't know just how massive the world of board gaming is or what is involved. They also may just have a vision in their head of us geeks sitting around a table, arguing over how many hit points a goblin has. Some of this leads us to the next possible reason.
2. Board Games Are For Geeks Though over the past decade or two, the notion that "geek is chic" has really grown, and so there's more enthusiasm for traditionally geeky things in our culture, there's definitely still some stigma attached to gaming. It can still often elicit visions of pasty white guys who are either rail thin or massively fat sitting at a table, smelling bad and eating shitty food while somehow still managing to be condescending. In these cases, it's worth pointing out that this is not always the case and drawing parallels between board games and other activities. After all, what are fantasy sports other than a different type of game focused on drafting players (instead of cards or workers) and predictive stats? That said, I really want to focus on the next two possible reasons for the duration of this post.
3. Gamers Discriminate and Exclude This is sadly very often true. Not always, of course! But many of us gamers were ostracized for our interests and passions. Many of us turtled up in our hobbies and in our very selective groups of gaming friends in order to protect ourselves from bullying and such. But for a lot of us, we end up visiting that same control that hurt us over other people by consciously excluding them. And that exclusion runs REAL deep. The majority of games I own feature only masculine pronouns throughout 20 page rulebooks. Many characters in games are white, or you run into a lot of games that tokenize BIPOC characters (We've got 6 characters: a scientist, a gang-banger, a socialite, a spy, a farmer, and a medic; guess which one is the Black guy?). We need to make an effort to be more inclusive when inviting people to play games. And that's not just asking people who don't look like us - it means setting up a space that is welcoming, too. I'm going to be writing more about this at a later time, because it really deserves its own space. It's been written and spoken about at length by other people way smarter than me, so I'll also be drawing on their insight and expertise. But suffice to say that in this particular blogpost, I just want to say that lots of people have been made to feel unwelcome in a gaming space before they met you. Keep that in mind while you're asking someone to game with you. Again, more on all of this at a later date.
4. Gamers Aren't Always Good Teachers Oh man, is this ever true. Not all of us are good teachers. And that's okay! But it can make it difficult to bring new people into the hobby.

No! Bad gamer! This is a terrible approach!!

Okay, so, assuming you can handle reasons 1-3. How do we handle reason 4? Am I just doomed to game alone if I'm not inherently a good teacher? I mean, maybe? But probably not! There are things you can do that will help!

Oh Good God, what can I do?

1. Have a plan Don't just try and wing it when you're teaching a game to someone who is new to the hobby. Honestly, even experienced gamers don't love when the person teaching the game wings it, unless that approach was agreed upon before getting together ("Hey, this game JUST came out today and I'd like to try it, but we'll have to learn the rules on the fly. You okay with that?") Please read the rules and be as familiar with them as possible before teaching the game so you don't spend 20-30 minutes with your face buried in a rulebook while some poor sap(s) punch out components you could've punched out several weeks prior. I've really taken to trying to do several things before teaching a new game. Playing it by myself with two or three players set up around the board just so I can get a feel for how turns go and actions that can be taken is a big one. Reading the rulebook a couple of times is another. This one sounds obvious, but you'd be surprised at how often people skip this step. Finally, watching a play-through on YouTube can really be helpful for games that are more complex or deeper.
2. Consider who you're playing with when you choose a game Just because YOU have been dying to play Twilight Imperium doesn't mean that's the game you should pick for someone's first time out, even if they say they would like to get into tactical or strategic games. The game is LONG, and it's easy to get yourself out of the running early on while still having to sit through another 3-4 hours of game. And that's a really garbage way to spend half a day. What are their interests? Pick something lighter! Pick something that runs shorter, or can be played a couple of times in quick(ish) succession. Maybe pick a game that is a little more luck-based, so that it's not just a matter of the more experienced players stomping the new players.
3. Be kind I know this sounds like a no-brainer, but again, it's worth mentioning. I have different groups of people with whom I game. Some of us are very good, very old friends. We can get pretty abrasive with one another while gaming. And that's fine! In our group. But even if you think you might have that relationship with new folks coming to your table, it might be a different ball game. They're trying games for the first time, and maybe they're not doing well and don't appreciate the smack talk while they're in the process of losing at a game wherein they never really felt like they had a chance at winning as the new person. A game table can be more intimidating than we gamers sometimes think. Be conscious of the language you use. Are you helping the new person learn the game, or just making decisions for them? Are you falling into a trap I mentioned above, which is not considering how inclusive or exclusive your language is?
4. Leave enough time to teach Again, feels like a no-brainer, but build in time to teach the game. This way, you're not rushing to play. It can already be intimidating enough for the new, possible-gamer-to-be without feeling like they're slowing down the entire setup process before you even get to the game. Pace yourself with how you share the rules so you're not overwhelming them and generally acting like you're in a rush to get to the game. This can often come across as the new person being an obstacle to your playing, and none of us want that.
5. Don't assume By this, I mean don't assume they understand "gamer basics," such as what drafting means. Ask them - they might know! But then again, they may not. The fewer assumptions you make about their knowledge of conventional gaming terms or concepts, the happier everyone will be.

I know some of this sounds like over-thinking, but I promise, all of these things have come up in the 10+ years I've been "seriously" gaming. The truth is that our hobby has room for just about everyone! The exception are those that spout off misogynistic or racist bullshit; there are plenty of those, and we do not need them in this hobby, whether they're the gamers or the designers. We gamers, as a community, need to do everything we can to ensure there is no "safe space" for these bigots to gather and spread their vitriol. But the vast majority of gamers are white guys. That needs to change. Firstly, because it's the right thing to do. But if we want to talk about "what we gain" through being "social justice warriors" when it comes to games, then that's simple: think of all the games and gaming experiences we miss out on if we don't expand our hobby? Eric M. Lang is a game designer, and talks quite a lot about how we can expand the gaming industry and hobby to more BIPOC gamers and designers. The man knows what he's talking about. If he wasn't working in the industry, we don't get Blood Rage or XCOM: The Board Game or (one of my absolute favorites of all time) Warhammer 40,000: Conquest. We need more women in the hobby and the industry. Without women, we don't get mega hits like Wingspan. So we do it because it's the right thing. And if you're not doing it because it's the right thing, you should be doing it because it benefits the hobby, the industry, and ultimately, you.

"All of this, just to bring a new person to my table?" Sure. Why not? We already put effort into acquiring games we like and playing them. Why not expend just a little bit more effort into surrounding ourselves with the folks with whom we WANT to play games? The folks who elevate our gaming experiences so these are spaces we love even more? I know I wander from time to time. I may come back to this post at some point in the future and try to tighten up the writing. But for now, there ya have it.