Guest Post: DM Good Practices

Guest Post - Good Practices for any DM

Hooray! For the first time on this blog, I'm putting up a guest post! I figure y'all could benefit from the thoughts of people who aren't me. There will be more to come, and from different folks, but for now, meet Biff; his thoughts are all in red.

I know this is who everyone thinks of when I introduce him as Biff, but that's not actually his name. But since that's how I was introduced to him, I still call him Biff something like 8 years later...

I think the most important thing for any GM, no matter their experience level, to remember is that there is no wrong way to play or GM. Certainly we should constantly be striving to improve in our capabilities, but the hard facts are that no matter how good you are as a GM, there will be players who do not mesh with, or appreciate, your style of GMing. There is nothing wrong with that, and the best thing for everyone is not for you to bend over backwards for them, but for them to find a different GM and you to find different players. 

I've seen a lot of groups implode because everyone is trying to soldier on, but all that is happening is everyone is getting frustrated and then things get toxic. Its okay to find different players so that everyone is having a good time. While you are the GM, you are still part of the game, and no one wants to play a game they don’t enjoy.

Secondly, and this is right on the heels of the first point, is always communicate clearly and calmly. Encourage your players to do the same so that issues can be resolved before they move from minor issues to major ones. If a player or players are doing things you do not approve of, talk it out with them. You must be open to compromise, and to their own issues, but trust me when I say that being clear and up front about everything works out way better for you and the campaign in the long run.

So say you have a player who is trying to play everyone else's character. That's annoying, and it doesn't help the other players, even if they don't mind it. So you need to talk to this player, not just hope that things get better. Approach them in private, after a session, not right before, and have a list of examples from what they are doing cause they may not even be aware of it, or they will be defensive about it and examples help get them thinking. Don't be confrontational, be distant and professional about it: "Hey X, I need to speak with you for a moment please. (Be polite) I can tell you are invested in the game, which I really appreciate and enjoy. However, you need to watch yourself during another player's turn. Let them play their own character, even if what they are doing is a mistake. If they ask for help in the moment, by all means do that, otherwise I need you (list here what you need them to be doing instead of playing other people's characters)." The player will likely be defensive, and may lash out a bit initially, but you need to not get engaged in that and instead defuse the situation so they can hear what you are trying to tell them: Which should be that you either are removing them from the game (if you feel it is warranted), or that you enjoy having them but need this behavior to change so the group is more healthy. Don't make it a negative thing, or bash, and be sure to put in at least as many things they are doing 'right' so they know that this isn't you coming down on them, or that you dislike them.

I find many GMs instead see a problem and either say nothing till it explodes into something bigger, stop enjoying the game and leave, or quietly message the problem individual, but fail to impart the seriousness of the issue. Stay on point, be as clear as possible without being utterly rude. I get lots of people don't enjoy confrontation, and this can be very uncomfortable for you, but a failure to address issues, or even a failure to make sure your players know they can come to you with ideas or their own issues with an expectation of resolution and welcome, will ultimately destabilize and then destroy the group.

Thanks to Biff for his insight! I've played his games, and I really enjoy the way he runs games. This is especially true because although he and I have different approaches to prep for running a game and how we set up our games, we have a lot of overlap in how we like to handle our sessions (both as player and as GM). Look forward to hearing from Biff again soon!