Deadlines and Game Making

 Deadlines and Game Making

Deadlines are important. They can often feel like inconveniences and inspire stress or dread. Sometimes they feel arbitrary, sometimes they feel like the End of The World.

Last year, Stonemaier Design Day was approaching and my friend Clayton had bought a ticket. He asked if I was going to do the same and I was somewhat tempted. For anyone who doesn't know, Stonemaier Design Day is basically an opportunity for board game designers and playtesters to come together in one (really outstanding!) place (Pieces Board Game Cafe) to play games, learn what else is out there, and meet some other people in the gaming and game design community. It's a really cool event and we're super damn lucky to have it here in St. Louis! Anyway, to be clear: this is not a pitch day. It's an opportunity for creators and gamers to give an receive feedback. BUT. I also knew that I didn't really want to go to Stonemaier Design Day without having made more progress on my design. So I declined.

I did so for a couple of reasons. The first is that I hadn't much experience with play-testing at this point aside from a very short stint for Fantasy Flight Games for one way of Star Wars Armada materials. Which was a really great experience for me! But also, playtesting for a minis game felt different than playtesting a new board game. So I didn't really feel comfortable offering feedback to designers I didn't know while playing alongside people I didn't know. I worried a bit about steering someone wrong or perhaps overstepping, so I didn't want to do that. I did have a game design that I thought was ready to go into prototype. I had thought for a bit that I was *this* close to ready. But the time between when I'd be buying a ticket and when the event happened didn't feel like a big enough window for me to walk into the event confident in my product. So I skipped it. Honestly, I'm really glad that I did.

If you read the recap of last year's event here, I think we can agree that it sounds pretty great! But I am confident that I made the right call in not attending. I wasn't ready. In the time since I made that decision, I've done some game testing beyond what I mentioned above. My gaming experience is more varied than it was. And I'm much further along in my prototype than I was last year. And and I've been collaborating with my buddy Chad on design and having a partner makes a huge difference for me. Some people work out more consistently with a partner and I'm very much one of those people. While I can tackle projects solo, I also do better work on projects with a partner. Chad's willingness to try new things, his extremely varied game knowledge and skill, and our ability to meet fairly regularly to play new games as well as work on designs has gotten me much further than I was before. When tickets became available for purchase this year, I bought a pair for me and Chad. This year, I'm ready.

Okay, I'm not totally ready. I still have more work to do on my prototype and rules. But I'm now in a place where I feel comfortable with a hard deadline by which I need to have a complete prototype, a complete set of rules, and an ability to teach the game quickly so people can play it for the first time without much stress.

My reason for sharing all of this is because I think there is a time and a place for deadlines. Up until now, I was in no rush to get my designs done. I was doing work here and there, had some very busy days, then weeks went by where I did very little. Sometimes I beat myself up a bit about not getting anything done, but I've gotten better at affording myself some grace. After all, this isn't my job and I don't want it to become my career. I'm not on deadline for anyone else, so it's not like anyone but me is keeping track of how much is or is not done. For a stretch, I was in a place where game design just wasn't in my primary or even secondary tier of objectives. If I had set deadlines, they would have come and gone and I would've felt like garbage for missing my own deadlines. I'd question my commitment and the deadlines would not have been effective in any way except to undermine my own confidence in myself. When I was a sophomore in college, I was sleeping through my morning classes. On a regular basis, I was sleeping until 10 or 10:30 and missing classes I really needed to attend. My grades in those classes were tanking because I was just never there. I'd say there were maybe two or three "Come to Jesus" moments when I'd really lay into myself about being lazy and needing to work harder. And I'd just sort of decide then and there that I'd suck it up, wake up, and get to class. I'd do whatever I needed to make up ground.

And then I'd promptly sleep in again and fall into the same pattern.

It was more discouraging than I can describe. It wasn't until mid November or so when my throat swelled up that I went to the college health center. Turns out I had mono. I'd had mono the whole time I had been sleeping in and missing my classes. I had been beating myself up for laziness and setting myself up for failure with these nebulous and unforgiving goals while this entire time, I'd had mono and didn't know it. I wasn't making any headway up until my diagnosis, and every time I missed a deadline or a goal or didn't "step up" after I'd beat myself up about being lazy, I ended up feeling like utter garbage because I'd fallen short. Sometimes, we set deadlines and goals that are self-sabotaging. They're not there for success; they're there because we don't know what else to do. Or because we think they'll help us or are reasonable, but neither of those things are true.

When considering self-imposed deadlines, it's important to consider how they help us instead of just assuming that they will help us. I know some deadlines aren't optional, but I'm talking about the deadlines we set for ourselves. In my case, while the date for Stonemaier Design Day is beyond my influence or control, it's my decision whether or not to participate. Last year, I chose not to participate because I knew the deadline would stress me out and wouldn't help me in the way I sought. This year, I chose to buy tickets because I know I'm in a place where I may stress the deadline, but I'm also ready for it. It will encourage me to finish the job that I'm already doing, but speed up my process. Additionally, I can use that one big deadline to set other, smaller deadlines that will help me meet said big deadline.

I get that this isn't necessarily news for everyone and it may seem obvious to some of you. But for others, maybe this is useful. Don't beat yourself up. Don't set deadlines for yourself without thinking about why you're setting deadlines in the first place. You can do this. Whatever this is. You can do it. Just think through your approach and ask yourself what it is you hope to accomplish by setting deadlines. Make sure that you're being reasonable and thoughtful about your deadlines so they help you accomplish your goal rather than inspiring dread. Set yourself up for success instead of setting yourself up for failure. It may feel like an extra step or three, but I promise it's worth it. And I know - because instead of dreading Stonemaier Design Day like I would have last year, I'm excited about it. I'm amped. And I've already found myself working harder than I have in awhile to make sure I'm ready.